Did you ever provoke a fight with your guy? You love getting on his nerves because that makes him so obscure and funny – “cute” so we say. No, you’re not sadistic. Just the fact that after the make up, it feels so sweet to be the conqueror- to have the feeling of power! To feel the situation is under your control - to cause a fight and then to stop it. Isn’t it just so dramatically sweet to push the edges once in a while?
I love pushing his triggers. Some may think I’m an evil witch, but I’m simply making our relationship tempered, exciting, resolute, pert.
If you intentionally get into a fight with him – you are not sick in a head (and no, you’re not just a bitch). Scientists say that a healthy relationship is a relationship where there are arguments, and any argument needs a solution, right? That takes out our negative energy and brings us closer.
read morePrologue
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was just like a real princess, but no one knew that she was a princess. She grew up and became a very successful model. She lived up on the Manhattan tower and had almost a prince like boyfriend. One day she got tired of others not seeing that princess inside her.
Ruslana Korshunova killed herself. She jumped off that high evil tower.
Parable
During my journey to Tibet I was lost. It was actually the reason why I went there. I was there to try to discover my soul. I will not get into details about my journey; there is only one meeting I have to tell you about.
read more No matter how obvious it sounds most of the rules have been created long before us. By rules I mean systematized experience of previous generations, like handshakes and etiquette, and things like going for a social smoke. There is a rule that ladies go in first into any door except the elevator.
But rules are a need for the sense of stability around one. Society needs rules to forecast the effect of a cause, to have at least some confidence of the future. And this is what disappoints people. This is when they lose their confidence because things appear not the way they expected them to be. Those who were really dependent on expectations suffer from facing the world that is unpredictable, that the rules they believed in didn’t work at some turning point.
So they say that only fools learn through their own mistakes. Don’t you remember your mom telling you not to stick your tong out and put it against the metallic balcony railing when it’s freezing cold outside? Why did I skip my SPSS class with that macho from senior class? All of my friends were telling me he was a player and had nothing else in his head except for getting laid. Why do we learn things only after we go through them? This is what humans are like.
read moreWhat do you call it when you feel something against your will? When the call of that something inside you starts ripping your self - esteem in pieces while your consciousness tells you to stop.
I never had it when I was a child.
I always felt what I wanted and I always wanted that what I felt.
Being used to getting what I want I am stuck. Stuck in the position like being lost in the desert. There’s nowhere to go. I can’t deny what I feel but I also can’t afford to feel it. It’s against my beliefs and values. Hum… fuck the beliefs. I don’t care.
No more. The human mind is such control-freak. It kills me. And if I continue it will sound like a confession to you and this is the least I want to do.
read moreInspired by “fuck” conversation last Saturday, which is a very delicate subject.
All of us, living in a fast growing temper of big cities are busy. We go to work, go to college full time, or have kids to take care of. There are plenty of things to do. When crazy week days are over we have