Miss Provocateur
Did you ever provoke a fight with your guy? You love getting on his nerves because that makes him so obscure and funny – “cute” so we say. No, you’re not sadistic. Just the fact that after the make up, it feels so sweet to be the conqueror- to have the feeling of power! To feel the situation is under your control - to cause a fight and then to stop it. Isn’t it just so dramatically sweet to push the edges once in a while?
I love pushing his triggers. Some may think I’m an evil witch, but I’m simply making our relationship tempered, exciting, resolute, pert.
If you intentionally get into a fight with him – you are not sick in a head (and no, you’re not just a bitch). Scientists say that a healthy relationship is a relationship where there are arguments, and any argument needs a solution, right? That takes out our negative energy and brings us closer.
read morePrologue
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was just like a real princess, but no one knew that she was a princess. She grew up and became a very successful model. She lived up on the Manhattan tower and had almost a prince like boyfriend. One day she got tired of others not seeing that princess inside her.
Ruslana Korshunova killed herself. She jumped off that high evil tower.
Parable
During my journey to Tibet I was lost. It was actually the reason why I went there. I was there to try to discover my soul. I will not get into details about my journey; there is only one meeting I have to tell you about.
read more No matter how obvious it sounds most of the rules have been created long before us. By rules I mean systematized experience of previous generations, like handshakes and etiquette, and things like going for a social smoke. There is a rule that ladies go in first into any door except the elevator.
But rules are a need for the sense of stability around one. Society needs rules to forecast the effect of a cause, to have at least some confidence of the future. And this is what disappoints people. This is when they lose their confidence because things appear not the way they expected them to be. Those who were really dependent on expectations suffer from facing the world that is unpredictable, that the rules they believed in didn’t work at some turning point.
So they say that only fools learn through their own mistakes. Don’t you remember your mom telling you not to stick your tong out and put it against the metallic balcony railing when it’s freezing cold outside? Why did I skip my SPSS class with that macho from senior class? All of my friends were telling me he was a player and had nothing else in his head except for getting laid. Why do we learn things only after we go through them? This is what humans are like.
read moreWhat do you call it when you feel something against your will? When the call of that something inside you starts ripping your self - esteem in pieces while your consciousness tells you to stop.
I never had it when I was a child.
I always felt what I wanted and I always wanted that what I felt.
Being used to getting what I want I am stuck. Stuck in the position like being lost in the desert. There’s nowhere to go. I can’t deny what I feel but I also can’t afford to feel it. It’s against my beliefs and values. Hum… fuck the beliefs. I don’t care.
No more. The human mind is such control-freak. It kills me. And if I continue it will sound like a confession to you and this is the least I want to do.
read moreInspired by “fuck” conversation last Saturday, which is a very delicate subject.
All of us, living in a fast growing temper of big cities are busy. We go to work, go to college full time, or have kids to take care of. There are plenty of things to do. When crazy week days are over we have yoga or tango classes, and shopping to do aside the chorus, french classes and getting a good sleep.
When is there time for sex?
The right answer would be - there is always time for sex. But the stress and busyness lead some couples to pencil their intimacy. It is logical, simple and hot to know that your schedule after works has a mark “Ryan 8 pm”.
It is exciting to feel the anticipation, but on the other hand do we feel it is comfortable to set up our special moments with an important person for us on a basis of a scheduled task? It seems awkward to plan it, it is out of style, especially for femme-fatale like me, but even when sex is spontaneous, in every woman's head it is always planned. (wink!)
read moreI got sms from a friend of mine which said “I heard you were robbed last night and the robber gave you two choices: you either had to give him your phone or suck his dick… I see you still got your phone…”
I thought that was stupid but hilarious and sent it to another friend of mine. He didn’t reply and I totally forgot about it. Well, I had to call him up for some business this morning and as he answered the phone he told me he was robbed last night.
read moreI remember one rainy morning when I was sitting on the backseat of my Mercedes. My driver picked me up earlier than the usual. I wasn’t mad at him, no. I thought it was great so I could get to the office earlier than the usual. But when I got into the car I asked him if we could drive around for a bit. I like rain. I wanted to go to the park and have a cup of espresso at the patio outside the café on the bridge.
I asked him to wait for me and he walked me carrying the umbrella. I hate it cause when he does it he always sings “Under my umbrella, ella-ella-ella…” Rihanna’s song, you know. It’s cute but he makes me smile and I don’t like that. He’s my driver. That’s it. He’s supposed to take me where I want, not make me smile.
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