Which one are you?
Preface: My last article made few men, whom I asked to read it, say it was bitchy to compare them with dogs, so this time I decided to distinguish women into a few different groups. I got the idea from a friend of mine who I think is more or less an expert in women. Sorry girls if you will find yourself offended when realizing this is who you can be sometimes.
Woman has always been a mystery to men. It is difficult to predict the way she will act in a certain situation. Whether she will through a scandal and tell all the girls, or will she keep it low. May be it will clear few things up and will surely make you smile.
Cat – Woman
This is probably a dream girl for any guy. She is graceful, sexy, mysterious and desired. Unfortunately in reality she’s the rear species, online – next nearest.
This is the most widespread type of a woman in the modern world. They put the harness on her and she plows and toils. She really wants to be cat – woman, but the hoofs don’t let her. It happens she starts anew on Monday: she starts a diet, learns to belly-dance, and changes her style. But she rarely makes it all the way to Friday. It all knocks out from her head by the whip of consequences. And she goes back to her routine field.
Spider – Woman
She lives in the web. She lays larvae on the dating-chats. Some of these individuals may eat up their seduced male right after the coupling.
Koala – bear
She is the total opposite of the spider – woman. She just hangs there on the tree and waits until she gets sex. Some very lucky ones get the male who was passing nearby. The chance that the male crawls on the same tree is very little. Koala males don’t really crawl much, so koala – woman is the one who constantly complains, knows all kinds of recipes of the apple cake, and deep inside believes in miracles.
She – wolf
This is the “buddy” – girl that always hangs out with you. She understands all of your stupidity and gives you the support you need. She doesn’t even ask you questions you don’t want to answer. She’s one of the boys, but still has the wild thing you like in her – she’s a lady. She better raise a howl to the moon than admit she’s hurt. Those girls are devoted and that is why they are comrades.
Canary – bird
The noisy bitch that never shuts up. She makes that sound about Beverly Hills nails saloon, celebrity gossip and the hot bad guys she would love to date. In the end, just like any canary – bird, she wants to end it all and start propagating with a nice family guy.
It’s a type of a mare that was educated in a religious family. She gives milk to everyone who wants it and if she doesn’t get milked – she starts pining. She is able to leave in the cattleshed and eat hay, but she will always put the cream for her husband.
She sucks blood of rich men, well not only blood. Her preferred territory is a warm well lighted place. P.S. The light is reflected by fancy stones and furs of other animals.
She swallows him and digests during their entire family life.
- wolf and girl
- girl and wolf
- spider woman
- Girl with wolf
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