Be what You want to Be
What do you call it when you feel something against your will? When the call of that something inside you starts ripping your self – esteem in pieces while your consciousness tells you to stop.
I never had it when I was a child.
I always felt what I wanted and I always wanted that what I felt.
Being used to getting what I want I am stuck. Stuck in the position like being lost in the desert. There’s nowhere to go. I can’t deny what I feel but I also can’t afford to feel it. It’s against my believes and values. Hum… screw the beliefs. I don’t care.
No more. The human mind is such control-freak. It kills me. And if I continue it will sound like a confession to you and this is the least I want to do.
Love, hate… those feelings you can’t buy. They don’t care for vanity and pride. This is why I am slightly confused.
I need to start anew once more. And you know what? Remember, that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Sigmund Freud has said once, that the desire which isn’t satisfied is a stimulating force for fantasy. So when you feel down, and you can’t get that what you want try turning the downside of it the other way around. Force your emotions towards something super cool and creative. Something you’ve never done in your life. Imagine. Be bold. Be decisive. Be brave. Be Miss Provocateur.

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By Freud our psycho consist of Ego, super Ego and unconsciousness. Its not suprising that you didnt have it when you were a child as your super ego have not been yet formated. Super ego its a censorship that society puts on one, but not in a bad way. We can say that unconsciounness its our biological, natural desires and super ego is something that makes us humans, its more about moral values. To live a normal life one has to combine both the best way possible, that is why we have an ego, its a golden middle between super ego and unconsciousness. Sometimes its hard to find the balance, people whos super ego works too good are usually harsh with themselves and finally not really happy, and those whos super ego has not developed or stagnated on some period of development are usually people who care just about physical, primitive stuff and not able to fully understand such values like love, friendship, honesty, dignity, art, poetry, etc.